Three students report on how they manage to juggle having a child and studying
I had been planning this article since May. I began writing it just before the submission deadline in September, and that is a perfect reflection of my everyday life as a student. Because my child was ill for a while and couldn-t go to the childminder - and because the childminder then fell ill herself - I lost a lot of working time. Since I embarked on my studies in 2020, when I was pregnant, this is a pattern that has existed throughout my life. It’s incredibly difficult to gauge your own capacities, and just when I think that I’m back in the flow, something crops up that I can’t plan for - for example, a new sleeping rhythm which means my child doesn’t get to sleep for ages in the evening. I don’t think that students or teachers who don’t have to look after a child can begin to understand what this life is like.
Overall, there are structural reasons why being a student and being a parent often don’t fit well together. From my work at the AStA (General Students- Committee), where I’m the -Studying as a Parent- officer, I’ve heard stories and anecdotes from other students who tell me about the unrealistic or awful regulations issued by their examination offices. For example: in my courses, the examination regulations stipulate that every reading class must be completed with a term paper. The reason given is that it’s important to learn the principles of academic work so that we are not entirely out of our depth when we have to write a bachelor’s thesis. That I can understand, but my study plan says that I have to write at least six term papers in my first subject, and three in my second subject, plus essays. I know that in at least one faculty, parents who are studying can take oral exams instead of writing term papers. I wish there were a more unified approach, so that everyone has equal chances.
Kristina Schmidt, 6th semester, Pharmacy:
Studying pharmacy was the fulfilment of my life’s dream. First of all, I did vocational training in pharmacy and commercial studies, but I was always fascinated by the profession of the pharmacist. So, besides having a job and a family, I took courses on the German Open University to gain my Abitur with the aim of studying pharmacy.
The beginning of my studies entailed a lot of changes for us as a family. I’m married with two children, eight and three years old. Many of the qualities and skills which you have learned as a parent - for example, time management and self-management - turn out to be a benefit in your studies. I have to use every opportunity for learning which presents itself. To anyone thinking about studying alongside having children, I would recommend looking for support. It’s not hard to network with other parents who are studying and to take turns with childminding duties. Despite all the motivation you have (and you probably have that already if you decide as a mother or a father to embark on a course of studies), you sometimes need to lower your expectations, because as a parent you-re not as resilient or as flexible with your time as other students are. Things don’t always run as planned - children fall ill, or need their parents to sit for longer at their bedside till they fall asleep. But you mustn-t become discouraged when an exam grade is sometimes not as good as you hoped for - and, in particular, you shouldn-t compare yourself with other people. After all, you-re studying in a special situation in your life. For that reason, you should always be aware of the fact that you-re giving your best in the prevailing circumstances.
Ann-Sophie Denter, 4th semester, master’s degree course in Psychology:
I’m married, I have a son who-s almost two and a half, and I’m expecting my second child in November. During the first two semesters of my master’s course, my family or my husband looked after my son whenever I had work to do for my studies. Since my third semester, my son has been going to a daycare facility, which means that mainly I can learn during the day.
There are a few challenges - both for me personally and for our family life. A lot of things have to be organised and planned in advance, but again and again unexpected changes to the plans crop up. For myself, there are some advantages in studying alongside having a child. One thing is that neither studies nor planning a family need to take a back seat. The other thing is that I have fixed periods when I can, and must, learn.
When I was awarded my place on the course, I thought, -We-ll manage that all right.- And so far, we have. The prerequisite, though, is flexibility. I get a good level of support: in my subject, for example, places for seminars are allocated in such a way that I can fit times in with the times when my child is at daycare. The general conditions laid down in the examination regulations, however - for example, relating to repeated postponements of exams - could be handled in a more flexible way in individual cases.
In my view, Münster University is family-friendly. Something that might help anyone who is undecided or pregnant, or might help parents with very young children, are articles such as these here, providing -living evidence- of studying alongside having children.
